Make It Work

MAKE IT WORK, CARRY ON, HOLLA AT CHA BOY

This week the designers were taken atop a double decker tour bus for a tour of The Big Apple. They each were given a camera and an hour to capture a bit of inspiration from the city for a "night out on the town" look.

What they came up with was interesting to say the least. A lot of surprises in the mix, including the winning dress by Kenley. To me, it looked like a retarded tulip. The judges (which including very-bored looking Sandra Bernhardt) said that it reminded them of an 80s Dynasty Joan Collins look. Big shoulder pads and a weird puff of tulle popping out of the right hip. The judges said it would be great to hide a ... It was a surprise because Kenley says she's so inspired by the 40s and 50s but this was straight out of the 80s. In a bad way. The print on the fabric was absolutely hideous, and I don't think anyone but a model could pull off the look. As Joe so aptly put it, it was a bit "Fort Lauderdale lawn cushiony."

Tanlicious Blayne came up with a neon getup that I thought was the worst of the bunch. The fact that he picked flourescent colors was not a surprise considering his hot pink dress last week and the neon pink sweatshirt he had on during this episode. He taught Tim a new catch phrase: "Holla at cha, boy." It was funny watching Tim try to say it. He said, "Hollar at your boy? Hollar? Hello?" Classic Tim.

No surprise that Blayne had to make his presence known to the camera by visually stalking Kenley while she was working on her dress. He kept saying to her, "I'm gonna eeeat you" and giving her a look like he was a demented bobble head. He's probably hoping Bravo will start selling a Blayne bobble head on their website. Organic Leanne decided to scale back her hyper-creativity and organic-ness and wound up making a gorgeous black layered skirt. I didn't like the finished look all that much because I wasn't crazy about the top, but the skirt was so pretty. Heidi loved it and said she'd wear it in a heartbeat.

We now come to Stella. Oh, Stella. You make me laugh the way Christian made me laugh. Your comments are quickly becoming classics. This week as you banged grommets into your leathah with a hammah, annoying the other desingers, you said, "What a gay little grommet" to the uncooperative remnant and I nearly spit out my dinner. You then followed up with a warning to the other nearly-deaf designers, "If you don't like it, get the fuck outta heeya." But not before you said, "I am rock and roll and I'm gonna die rock and roll." Your finished look was impressive. As someone who knows a little about sewing, I know how hard it is to make a pair of pants, especially ones out of leathah.

I absolutely loved Terri's outfit. She was inspired by graffitti and stret culture, and made a gorgeous open-back dress with black pants underneath. I wasn't crazy about the print of the dress, but overall the look worked beautifuly.

Keith was inspired by a delapitated magazine he found on the ground and made something that Michael Korrs referred to as looking like "toilet paper caught in a wind storm." If it had been more fitted and accentuated his model's shape, I believe he could have made something really pretty. Emily's dress got her awffed. She said she was inspired by "the movement and energy" of New York but she made, as Tim put it, "a black dress with a great big oversized corsage." Tim warned her, but she didn't listen and let her big rainbow-brite prom dress go down the runway. She kept saying how underground she is, but this is something that could be easily sold as a prom dress in JCPenny circa 1989. I also thought it looked a lot like Blayne's blinding dress.


As far as everyone else goes, I loved Daniel's dress (again), and Suede "rocked it" as usual.

Next week we get to see the designers go on a big field trip that will cause what looks like fabric stealing, Beatles-inspired fashion, and slurs against the gay community. Carry on. . .

Hump Day Fashion Icon

HEIDI KLUM

Heidi Klum has been modeling for sixteen years. The German-born model has graced the covers of most big-time fashion mags, including Vogue, Elle, and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. She is also well-known for her extensive work with Victoria Secret.

These days, the thirty-five year old beauty and mother of three (which she's raising with hubby, Seal) is the face of Project Runway. She also has launched a gorgeous jewelry line as well as a skin care line. I recently saw her on a TV show and realized why I like her so much. She has beauty that radiates from within. When she smiles, she means it. She's a genuinely beautiful person. She also has the best legs on the planet. As Tim Gunn would say, she "make[s] it work."

Online Shopping

OH BABY, STRUT YOUR STUFF!

Baby girls don't have to wait to put their tiny feet in their mother's high heels. A new website called Heelarious sells high heels for babies. They're "high-heeled crib shoes" made of soft fabric and are used for looks rather than actually walking. Apparently Nicole Richie is one of the many celeb mothers who have been buying them for her new daughter. To me, they look too pointy like little witch shoes.

Best-Of Beauty

CEW NAMES BEST BEAUTY PRODUCTS

An beauty insider industry group called Cosmetic Executive Women has come up with their beauty product best-of list. Chicago's Sun Journal has published their list, which looks like this:

Body treatment: Olay Thermal Pedicure (drugstore) and Dr. Andrew Weil for Origins The Way of the Bath Matcha Tea Body Scrub (prestige)


Hair: Garnier Fructis Style Sleek & Shine Anti-Humidity Hairspray (drugstore) and Frederic Fekkai Coiff Controle Ironless Straightening Balm (prestige)

Mascara: CoverGirl LashBlast Mascara (drugstore) and Dior's DiorShow Blackout (prestige)


Fragrance: Marc Jacobs Fragrances' Daisy (women) and Bond No. 9 New York Andy Warhol Silver Factory (men)

Fashion News

OH MY GOTH!!

It may soon be ILLEGAL to sport black lips and nails in Muthah Russia. Apparently legislation in the country is being formulated to monitor anything emo, including web sites and fashion worn in government buildings. The scare has come about due to what Russian government officials see as a "dangerous teen trend" , which they believe glorifies depression and suicide.

If they could have only seen me and my friends when we were teenagers - - we could have been responsible for preventing the downfall of the Soviet Union.

Oh my goth! We could have wound up in a gulag. . .

Make It Work

GREEN COCKTAIL HOUR AT PARSON'S

Last night on Project Runway, the designers were challenged to make a "green" cocktail dress for their models. Of course there was a snag: They had to let the models choose the environmentally-responsible fabric and notions.Most of the models admitted to not knowing what they were looking for. This caused Jerell to say, "My biggest fear is that she will come back with remnants of nonsense." It also caused three of the models to choose the same brown satin and three to choose the same champagne-colored silk.

As the models returned with their fabric, the designers' weren't pleased to say the least. All except Jarell, surprisingly, who hugged his model in delight. Rocker chick, Stella, was not happy with what her model wanted, which was something flowy and beachy. Like she said, I"m very urban. I like tough-looking stuff." I think she used the words "urban" and "tough" a few times. Let's hope for her sake that they never have a challenge that involves making something for can can dancers.

"I'll sew Blayne's face up like leathah."

Annoyingly tan Blaynlicious got to work with a bright fuchsia, which he said was "so Britney." He then referred to Heidi Klum as Darth Vader (and later as "Darthlicious", of course). His reasoning for the comparison? "On the outside she's all like shiny and put together, but on the inside she's like curaaaaazy." Uh huh, Blayne.

He then started on Stella who was celebrating her love of leather: "I just want to stick to my leather. Burn it up, dye it up, grommet it, pyramid it, stud it, spike it. . . " This caused Blayne to imitate her: "I watch leathah tv, my husband's leathah, my kids came out of me leathah..." Okay, I admit I laughed but when Stella found out what he was saying, she said, "What, Blayne? He's twelve years old! " She then said, "Remove that piece of leather from between the center of your teeth - you got a gap tooth." As they hugged and made up Blayne said, "Ohh, Leather Face." Look in the mirror lately, Blayne?

As the designers went to work, Suede decided to start referring to himself in the third person and said "Suede's a bi-sexual Sagittarius and loves long walks on the beach and really loves working with small pieces of fabric." Despite his annoying banter, Suede won the challenge with his darling and very imaginative dress. In fact, when they presented Natalie Portman (tada!!) as the guest judge of the week, she gushed over the dress, which made him Suede gush over Suede. Love!!

"Darthlicious" and Natalie Portman

Stella, who despite ignoring her model's request, came up with a one sleeved, champagne, lace-up-the-side dress, and wound up in the top three. The judges felt that her dress captured her aesthetic and was classy enough to wear to a fete. Likewise, the judges also loved Kenley's champagne dress with a stiff neck that went up around the model's ears like an Elizabethan collar.


Korto wound up in the bottom three this week for making a dress that looked like it was inside-out and had fins coming out of the ass . It was a nice idea gone wrong. If you can make a six-foot tall size two model look chunky, you know it's not good. Luckily, she was let off the hook.

This left Wesley and Leanne in the bottom two. Both made short, tight shiny brown dresses. As Nina so delicately put it: "I think tight, shiny, and short is the quickest way to look cheap." Leanne decorated her dress with one too many loops and straps, which made her model look a bit like a wilted flower. Wesley's dress was ill-fitting and looked unfinished to me. In fact, from the back, it looked like the zipper didn't fit right as if he couldn't get the zipper zipped up. This got him sent home. Unfortunately, he was one of those quiet designers that I forgot was even there until this episode.

Surprisingly the only designer to use black was Daniel. And his dress was AMAZING. Wow! If I were rich and I could convince him to add a couple inches to the hem, I'd hire him to make me that dress. Absolutely stunning!


Okay, that's it for this week. But before I go, let me reveal the latest dish from Bravo: Wes and Daniel are an item. They look sew cute together!

Trend Alert

SHUT YOUR FACE!

My friend was talking to me on the phone the other day when he mentioned he hates the trendy sunglasses he sees all the guys wearing around Portland. He then described them as having slats like those on shutters where the lens should be. I was intrigued. Naturally, I found a pair on Urban Outfitters.com. Oh, I feel so old and out-of-the-loop for not knowing about this hot, ugly trend!

Trend Alert

FISH FEET

The latest pedicure trend is sticking your feet in a fish tank and allowing tiny carp to eat away at the dead skin. At least, that's what's been occurring at the Yvonne Hair and Nails salon in Alexandria, VA for the past four years.

Apparently word is spreading about the benefits: "I'd been an athlete all my life, so I've always had calluses on my feet. This was the first time somebody got rid of my calluses completely," Tracy Roberts of Rockville, MD said. You can read more about the fishy trend here.

Trend Alert

FASHION CELL OUT

A close fashion source has brought the following story to my attention. Apparently in Japan, the hot new fashion trend is the line of aprons and bags made by inmates at Hakodate Juvenile Prison on the northern island of Hokkaido. The items are decorated with the Japanese character for “jail” , and are put together and sewn by the prisoners. The accessories are so popular, they're currently sold out. You can read more about the penitentiary fashion craze here.

Product Shout-Out

SKIN SO SOFT

I love Skin So Soft. Love it. Love it. Love it. The smell takes me back to childhood when my mom was an Avon lady and we had the stuff all over the house. I also love it because it repels mosquitoes without the Deet. But most of all it just feels good. I love the spray body oil and the body oil gel. I also just bought the body wash and have yet to try it. Avon has a bunch of other fragrances in their Skin So Soft line now, but I'm a sucker for the original.

On a side note, I recently saw an Avon catalog for the first time in years and found that they still make Sweet Honesty perfume. If that doesn't bring me back, I don't know what will.

Make It Work

PROJECT RUNWAY IS BACK!

Looks like there's an interesting group of designers on this season of PR, chock full of people I want to get to know. Unfortunately in such a short space of time, we only got a smidgen of who was who and what they were about. Tim said that they are "the most diverse group" ever to be on the show. So far, I love Kelli (who won this week's challenge) and Kenley who looks like a 1940s pin-up girl.



The challenge, which featured Austin Scarlet from Season One as a judge, was to go to the grocery store and grab stuff to design something out of. Back at the workroom, Tim let everyone know that he was disappointed by the amount of people who chose to work with easy materials like plastic table clothes. It seemed like at least six or seven people chose them to design with.

Despite the predictable material, there were definitely some interesting get-ups, particularly the awful "duck suit" made my too-tan Blayne. Everyone kept saying it looked like there was a diaper on the front, which I agree with, but what about that awful netting around the bodice? It looked like it could physically hurt someone. I don't know a single girl who would want to wear that.


Another really bad outfit was made by Stella - the rocker chick who looks like Cher. I love her personality and I'm glad they kept her, but her trash bag dress was beyond boring and looked really cheaply made (should've gotten Glad!). This oversight put her in the bottom two.

But it was Jerry who went home. He made an outfit out of paper towels that looked like something a serial killer nurse would wear. He even paired it with yellow plastic cleaning gloves and galoshes. I was sorry to see him go. While it was kind of weird, at least it was interesting! I would have loved to see what he could have come up with during the season. Maybe a whole line of serial killer wear? Isn't that what this show is supposed to be about? Fashion? Imagination?


Kelli won the challenge with her very clever and innovative dress made from vacuum bags (which she pleated and dyed with coffee and bleach) and burnt coffee filters. She left no detail overlooked and even made a belt decorated with silver thumbtacks and the back closure of the dress out of a spiral notebook binding.


The runner up, Daniel, was also very imaginative He took blue plastic tumblers, ironed them, and fused them together to make a really fashionable "cocktail" dress. I thought the fit was a little off (it made the model look like she was wearing an actual plastic cup), but it was so smart and off-the-charts whimsical that he could have easily won the challenge.

Hump Day Fashion Icon

TORI AMOS

I've been following the Cornflake Girl's career since 1992 and have always found her outfits to be interesting and often inspiring. She dressed the part of big-haired rocker chick back in the 80s but then switched over to a more refined look. She started wearing the Boho look long before Sienna Miller put the look on the fashion map. Diaphanous shirts and dresses, flared jeans. And the shoes. It's all about the shoes with Tori.

She wears shoes that make me dream of having a walk-in closet just for heels. She's even designed and marketed her own shoe line. Two years ago, she told the British paper, Mail Online:
"Shoes are my passion: Pollini, Kurt Geiger, sleek boots by Sergio Rossi. Even if everything else is downplayed, I'll wear good shoes."

Through the past almost 20 years she's kept one thing relatively the same - her hair. That long, red curly hair is her signature. In addition, her piano is her most constant accessory. Now at 44 years old, the rocking redhead is still a heavyweight fashionista.

Whoopsie!

MISS USA EATS IT AT MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT

Sunday night at the Miss Universe pageant in Vietnam, Miss USA fell flat on her butt. Crystle Stewart from Texas was the second Miss USA in a row to fall on stage at the pageant. Last year, Rachel Smith's fall made her a YouTube sensation.

Fortunately, Ms. Stewart handled her spill gracefully by quickly standing, smiling, and clapping to the crowd. Ultimately, Dayana Mendoza (Miss Venezuela) - a former kidnap victim - took the crown.

Fashion Gossip

GOSSIP GUY

Ed Westwick (aka Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl) is rumoured to be adding his "two cents" to the outfit he'll be wearing in the August issue of Vanity Fair. Could this mean "Fashion Designer" may be in his future? The title would certainly fit since the whole cast of GG is so fashionably fabulous. In fact, Chuck is always dressed to the 9s.

Link of the Week

Retail Me Not is a website that has promotional codes for thousands of online stores. The other night when I was looking for a way to get free shipping on the Avon products I was ordering, my husband found me a code in three seconds from the site. Check it out here.

Fashion Boner

BECKS'S GOLDEN BALLS ARE A HIT AGAIN

Normally on Wednesdays, I like to post "Hump Day Fashion Icon," but today I'm far too lazy. So instead I'm posting "Guy Everyone Wants to Hump. Of course I'm referring to David Beckham's latest underwear ad for Emporio Armani. Actually, let me rephrase that "Guy Everyone Wants to Hump Except for Mel C."

Recently the ex-Spice Girl was quoted as saying: "I'd be very proud if my man looked like David Beckham," Mel revealed. "But if I see a picture of David in his pants, I avert my eyes - it's my friend's husband, so it feels a bit wrong."

Really?

Beckham has stated on his blog that he's "amazed" by the huge public interest in the ad. Really??

Really??