FASHION REPORT de PERU
Part Uno
Let's Go Fu$*ing Shopping

I've been away in Lima visiting my husband's family for the past two and a half weeks.While I was there, I kept a keen eye on the fashion scene. Like most Latin American countries, Peru is rife with cleavage and muy short skirts. And HIGH heels. I saw a woman teetering on a pair of heels one day that threatened to double as stilts.

One nice thing about the style scene here is that despite the fact that there is a large eating disorder problem in Lima, there are few women that look startling thin. In fact, butts and boobs are la sopa del dia.

The advertising in Peru, particularly in Lima, is proof of this. Everything, from ice cream to beer to shoes, is caliente in Peru. On TV, I saw a game show featuring a "sing off" between pairs of lingerie models.

I also saw a variety show hosted by a drag queen in a traditional Peruvian dress and seven inch fetish heels. Behind him a group of salsa musicians dressed in Hawaiian shirts shook marracas while scantily clad models shook their gold-tipped tatas and thong-choked butts at the screen. This almost beats the game show I saw a few years back that involved stripping housewives.

My son and the Brahma Beer girls.

The mannequins here have a little more meat on their bones and by that I mean more cheek on the butt and more boob on the chest. I saw one shirtless female form in a shop window that had painted-on nipples. This was a very middle-of-the-road women's clothing store, mind you, not a trashy lingerie shop. I got my camera ready but before I could get a photo, the clerk pulled a top over the mannequin's torso.


A while back while she was visiting us in the U.S., my mother-in-law discovered the word "fuck" and began using it as an adjective to modify everything. . . including shopping. So as she says,
"Let's go fucking shopping":

First stop: The mall. It's a place in Lima called Jockey Plaza and looks like anymall USA, filled with Payless Shoes, Steve Madden, and Starbucks. I did find a few must-haves there, however. Case in point: the top I bought at a store called Joaquim Miro. It beckoned to me from the shop window -- all cute rosettes adorning a boat neck and cap sleeves (not as cheesy as it sounds). When I went in to inquire about it, the sales clerk apologetically informed me they didn't have any more in red, but they had one left in black. SCORE.


They don't wear black the way we do. It's considered a little bit morbid. Also, they only had a size Large. Normally I wear a medium, but this shirt fits like a glove. The fit has more to do with the fact that clothing runs smaller down there than in the US. Either that or I've eaten one too many papas rellenas. In any case, I've added one more to my collection of a gazillion black tops for only $22 (on sale).

Another stop was at TopiTop. It's like Forever 21 for Limonions. Lots of cheap trendy finds. I found a pale blue shirt that I decided would break up the black for only $15 soles, which is about $5 American.


After that we went to the South American rip-off of the MNG brand store, called Marquis. I liked their collection better than the MANGO by MNG store we have in the US, but it was equally as expensive. Pretty much all of the clothing there is as expensive or more pricey than the clothing in the US. I guess that's why my mother-in-law always buys mountains of clothes here when she visits.

The big department stores there are the Chilean owned Saga Falabella (I love to say that) and Ripley. There is an ad campaign going on right now for the Saga store featuring numerous billboards donning models with the words "HOT en tu closet." I don't know why that made me laugh so much, but every time we passed one of the billboards, it had me in stitches.


I was certain to visit the Indian Market in Mira Flores. I go to this place every time I visit Peru in order to visit one specific store called Joyas Vivac, which carries beautiful sterling silver jewelry at very reasonable prices. I had a mother of pearl ring made for me this time. The setting is about the size of a half dollar and the ring itself is thick sterling. It only cost about $30 to have it made specifically for my finger.

A trip to Peru would not be complete without visiting an Alpaca shop. Luckily, my mother-in-law is in the know and took my sister, her husband, and I to two Alpaca outlets in Arequipa. This is the primo stuff. No mixed alpaca-wool-whatever here. All baby alpaca.

As I was milling around the shop, I noticed the overwhelming smell of horse crap. I followed my nose to an area out back where they have actual alpacas, vecunas, and llamas grazing. Now that's advertising. My sister and her husband both bought beautiful winter coats made of pure alpaca for roughly $100 each. My sister's husband's coat was even reversible. I didn't buy anything as I have alpaca up the ass at home. I just love to pet the clothes; they're so creamy and delicate.