THE HILLS: HELLO DRAMA

I'm not going to go over a blow-by-blow of what happened on the double helping of The Hills last night, but I will make a list of things that stood out:

• I wanted to see what Lo gave Lauren for her birthday. Lauren obviously loved it, saying, "oh, it's so pretty" but the camera never panned down to focus on it.
  

• Spencer Pratt proved that he's the biggest douche bag in television history, possibly in history in general.
  

• What was that big, ugly piece of shit belonging to Spencer that Stephanie wanted out of her apartment?

I can't believe I'm related to that douche bag

• Kelly Cutrone's (Whitney's boss) list of rules for LA Fashion Week were hilarious. Definitely very Amanda Priestly:

1) Any concepts of 9-5 LA not happening here. I would plan to be here ever night until at least 11:00 0'clock
2) You're going to wear all black
3) I don't want to see I your boobs
4) I don't want to see any piercings
5) If you have any tattoos, I don't really care. I don't want to see them
6) Do not roll your eyes at me
7) Do not question what it is we are asking you to do
8) I'm not here to be your friend
9) Emily, you're not here to be their friend
10) We really care about ourselves more.

• Lauren said working under Kelly Cutrone at People's Republic would be her dream job.

All black is the strict dress code at People's Republic

• I LOVED Whitney's pale blue nail polish in the second episode.

• Why are Lauren and Stephanie always whispering in their computer class? They do have television cameras trained on them, after all.
  

• If I have to see Spencer give the fake "thumbs-up" one more time, I'm going to barf.

• I really wish Audrina would get a personality. Her eyes are dead a lot of the time.
  

• Whitney is da bomb.

• Heidi needs to be slapped. . . hard.

• I loved that song "Hello Drama" by Kaila Yu that they played in the middle of the second episode.