TYYYRRAAAA MAAAIIIILLLLLL!!!!!

DROWNING IN DRAMA

Last night on America's Next Top Model, the girls went on their go-sees. This cycle, instead of going individually, they were divided into two teams that looked like this: Team 1: Stacy-Ann, Dominique, Claire, and Whitney Team 2: Lauren, Anya, Katarzyna, and Fatima

The girls weren't allowed to use cabs and each team was given a SPRINT GPS CELLPHONE to navigate their way around NYC via foot. Nice product placement. They said "SPRINT GPS CELLPHONE" so many times, it was obnoxious. Stacy-Ann even said something like, "I'm so glad I have this SPRINT GPS CELLPHONE or I'd be so lost."

On the go-sees, Whitney was discouraged when Pamela Roland said that she usually doesn't book size 10s for the runway, but then got her mojo back when one of the other designers (I forget who) said that she liked to include all body sizes in her shows and collection.

Meanwhile, Lauren was really coming out of her shell. She went ballistic on Fatima because Fatima was pissed that Lauren had dumped out her coffee. Lauren started screaming and flipping her the bird. They even had to put the little blurred spot over her mouth. This is when my husband looked up from his computer and said, "She's fucking crazy!" Funny, because that's what Lauren said to Dominique last week.

Dave Mustane moonlighted as a model before singing for Megadeth.

Anyway, I thought the whole thing was hilarious. I think she should stop showering and start randomly swigging out of a bottle of Jack Daniels. Unfortunately she went back to awkward during the go-sees and walked hunched over, likening herself to "Lurch."

The girls did a photo shoot inspired by the off-beat Broadway show called Fuerza Bruta. The girls were shot from beneath a sheet of mylar sans makeup, dressed in long, floaty dresses, and flailing in puddles of water. Claire decided to do a belly flop even though Jay warned her not to and wound up hurting her neck. Lauren struggled with the shoot, blowing bubbles out of her nose and looking like a drowned rat.

No more Eastern European tackiness for you, Katarzhyna!

Katarzhyna had her hair cut and looks so good! WOW. Paulina made some tactless comment about Kat losing her "Eastern European tackiness." She's quickly becoming my favorite model in the competition. I just wish I knew her a little better. I guess it's hard to shine with all the big personalities in the house. It would be really funny if she went crazy and shaved off her new hairdo, got her tongue pierced, and started hanging with Lauren.

Consequently, their crappy photo shoots landed Lauren and Claire in the bottom two this week. The judges thought that Claire only had one look. "She's like one note to me," said Tyra to the other judges. "I just feel there's one look -- one face." They all agreed that Lauren needs to get over her awkwardness. "Ultimately, I'm completely losing faith in Lauren," said Nigel. "For me, she's collapsing. She hasn't gotten any better. Her confidence -- if anything -- is weaker."

Love ya, fuckin' bitch!

Who would have thought we would see these girls in the bottom two so soon? In the end, I was sure they were going to pick Claire over Lauren, and began lamenting Lauren's departure. BUT they decided to keep Lauren and Claire was sent packing. I hope Lauren goes bananas next week and starts snorting lines off of the kitchen counter. RAWK!