Tyyyrrraaaaaa Maaaaiiillll!!!!!!!!!!!

ANTM IS BACK!

The whole theme of the first hour of the two-hour premier of ANTM (back in LA) was Area 51/ Space Age/Aliens. The hopeful models were driven to a "top secret" airplane hanger-type building where they were met with the Js, dressed in silver space outfits. They referred to themselves as "Alpha J" and "Beta J." When they let the girls into the building, they (the girls - not the Js) appropriately screamed like a gaggle of geese on steroids.

Tyra: Because it's all about meeeeeeee.

Then they were directed toward a thing that looked like "The Orgasmatron" from Sleeper. It started to shake and out busted "Tyrabot." She talked in a robotic voice through lips slicked with silver lipgloss. Okay, I know she's totally full of herself, but her hair is slamming this season. Love the cut!

This cycle there are three Britneys. Brittnay #1 is a beautiful mix of races. She looks Indian, African American, and Middle Eastern. Martial-arts-loving Britney #2 renamed herself McKey. She's gorgeous, but needs something done with her red wig-like hair. Then there's Brittney #3 who renamed herself Sharaun. She walked around telling everyone, "I AM America's Next Top Model you just don't know it yet."

Sharaun

Marjorie from Marsailles is a cute blonde with the pixie haircut who reminds me so much of Amalie (the movie character) that it's hard for me to separate the two. Tyra tried to show off her French-speaking skills with her, but wound up looking like a jackass.

Another interesting girl is Isis. She's the transgender gal from Prince George's County (holla!) MD.
She was originally on last cycle's homeless photo shoot and had a face Tyra couldn't forget. Of course there were a bunch of girls who were *gasp* shocked by the news of Isis's true gender, but not Sheena from Harlem who likens herself to Kimora Lee Simmons. She's a likeable half-Japanese, half-Korean girl whose positive attitude is infectious.

Alina is the bi-sexual of the group who's already admitted to having a crush on tall, blonde Clark. Clark is the girl who keeps talking herself up as the biotch of the house. In her words she would "slap that man out of the house" referring to Isis. Yeah, she sounds crush-worthy.

Alina

The second hour of the show followed the girls as they were introduced to their new, posh LA pad repleat with photos of Tyra everywhere. That night when McKey decided to practice her boxing, Clark said, "Oh McKey, you are not right in the head." When Isis decided to go swimming in the new pool, Clark was shocked and badmouthed her to anyone in earshot.

Paulina P. is back as one of the judges as is delectable Nigel Barker. The girls' photoshoot revolved around issues that would affect voting come November. Each girl was to represent one of these issues. When Isis posed as "privacy" in a voting booth, a few of the bitches, headed up by Sharaun, made nasty comments to her through the booth wall. Despite their cattiness, Isis wound up with a great photo.

Isis

Clark, who was to represent "bureaucracy", didn't know what the word meant and ended up looking confused. Marjorie wound up with the judges' favorite picture. She represented immigration and looked very high-fashion and bent at all the right angles. The worst photo? Sheraun, who was thankfully sent packing. But not without breaking down on stage first. Oh, Sheraun. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Marjorie

Overall, this season looks promising. Lots of interesting girls and more of Tyra's ego than ever!!

Tyyyyyyraaa Maaaaiiiillll!!!!!!!

I TURN MY CAMERA ON

On last night's episode of America's Next Top Model, the girls were asked to go behind the camera and take photos of Paulina. Fatima won the challenge for knowing exactly how she wanted Paulina to pose while being very polite at the same time. Whitney came in at a close second for being straightforward and decisive. Anya, on the other hand, was all over the place not sure of what she wanted Paulina to do. Same with Dominique whose photos ended up depicting Paulina wearing various "cactus hats" because she kept shooting her in front of cactai.

Fatima won 50 extra frames on her photo shoot this week, which was "starlet being caught by the paparazzi with mystery man." Despite her challenge win, Fatima needed those extra frames because she had trouble following direction on the shoot. Her best shot did look pretty, but not at all "surprised" by the paps. Anya looked stunning in her shot and a lot like a movie star thus she was called first this week. Whitney did well also and was called second. Again, she was criticized for being a little to "posey" and not using enough of her "va va va voom." Wasn't she cricized last week for using too much of her va va va voom?


It was Fatima and Dominique who ended up in the bottom two this week. Nigel pointed out that due to her deep angles and not being the softest of the bunch Dominique might not be the best candidate to promote Cover Girl makeup. This prompted Miss J. to say, "that's why it's called Cover Girl because it covers up the man in you." So it was Dominique who was sent packing. I must say that despite all her "blah blah blah" this season, she left with poise and dignity.

So that's it. One down, three two go. Put your bets in now: Who will be "on top"?

Hump Day Fashion Icon

J. ALEXANDER

Today, we celebrate J. Alexander, also known as "Ms. Jay" on America's Next Top Model. The "runway coach and diva extraordinare" used to work as a model himself, stomping down the runway for Jean Paul Gaultier.

He has since been the go-to guy/gal for the likes of Bill Blass, Valentino, and Alexander McQueen when they want a model groomed for the runway. On ANTM he's gentle and patient with the models he trains while still maintaining his sharp sense of humor.

He has legs for miles and can work a pair of heels better than most women. He has said he dislikes celebrity and avoids the red carpet whenever he can. But that doesn't mean he avoids fashion. During his career, he's sported some wild outfits. Here are just a few. . .