Trend Alert

SHUT YOUR FACE!

My friend was talking to me on the phone the other day when he mentioned he hates the trendy sunglasses he sees all the guys wearing around Portland. He then described them as having slats like those on shutters where the lens should be. I was intrigued. Naturally, I found a pair on Urban Outfitters.com. Oh, I feel so old and out-of-the-loop for not knowing about this hot, ugly trend!

Trend Alert

FISH FEET

The latest pedicure trend is sticking your feet in a fish tank and allowing tiny carp to eat away at the dead skin. At least, that's what's been occurring at the Yvonne Hair and Nails salon in Alexandria, VA for the past four years.

Apparently word is spreading about the benefits: "I'd been an athlete all my life, so I've always had calluses on my feet. This was the first time somebody got rid of my calluses completely," Tracy Roberts of Rockville, MD said. You can read more about the fishy trend here.

Trend Alert

FASHION CELL OUT

A close fashion source has brought the following story to my attention. Apparently in Japan, the hot new fashion trend is the line of aprons and bags made by inmates at Hakodate Juvenile Prison on the northern island of Hokkaido. The items are decorated with the Japanese character for “jail” , and are put together and sewn by the prisoners. The accessories are so popular, they're currently sold out. You can read more about the penitentiary fashion craze here.

Trends

CALIGULA UGLIA

I have to vent about the spring's hottest trend: gladiator sandals. Could any footwear be uglier apart from orthopedic shoes? If I wanted to look like Caligula, I'd don a toga before I'd put on a pair of these ugly-ass shoes. Chipped nail polish? Any day. Gladiator sandals? No thanks.

Trends

CHIPPED CHIC

Remember when ripped jeans and stockings were considered edgy? Now chipped nail polish is the latest low-maintenance fashion trend. The New York Times reports that the trend isn't just being embraced by the under 21 crowd.

According to Ji Baek, owner of The Rescue Beauty Lounge, a lot of high fashion women are “wearing perfectly-tailored clothes, they have $5,000 bags and equally fabulous shoes, but their nails are chipped and they’re saying, ‘I don’t care.’ They don’t want to be too perfect.” But, she noted, their polish “is so perfectly chipped.” This trend works in my favor since my nails are usually flecked with five-day-old polish.

SPRING FEVER AND STOMACHACHE

The style report is in for this spring and it ain't pretty. At least not to my eyes. Big for the upcoming warm season? According to the runways and style.com : tribal prints (looks like Cocopelli vomited on some of these fabrics), florals (big, ugly watercolor florals, not cute mod daisy florals), hippie wear (pleeeeeaaaase no more boho scraps!), and neons (The 80s won't die!!).

BUT there is hope. There are two trends they list that I can live with:

1) The sheer fabrics that will adorn many clothes this spring. I love any kind of tulle or chiffon as long as it's hanging off the hem of a skirt or dress (like the gorgeous BCBG Max Azria frock to the right) and not sewn between seems on a garment (can you say 80s trashtastic?)

AND

2) Masculine designs with a feminine twist. Not that I'll be wearing suits any time soon, but I like the narrow lines. Looking at the runway, however, there are a lot of baggy outfits as well as chic, slim ones in the mix.





AND it looks like those gawd-awful MC Hammer pants (wide through the hips and thighs, tight around the ankles) are still big. In fact, it appears that skinny pants as well as big wide-legged pants will be in again. I don't think many people can wear wide-legged anything unless they're 5 foot 9 inches tall. Otherwise the pants wear you. I'm 5' 6'' and tried on a pair of wide-legged jeans only to discover that I looked like I had been swallowed by a giant denim triangle.